Becky Wilkes
‘Should I tell daddy we’re dying’
Consultations & Beyond – Chance Meetings, Meaningful Conversations and the Road to Exhibition
Photolucida 2019
I met photographer Becky Wilkes at Photolucida in Spring 2019. I had just finished presenting a talk, Through a Woman’s Lens, that Becky had attended. While I was standing at the concierge desk Becky and I had a casual conversation about photography, and exchanged business cards.
Consultation 2020
In 2020, Becky signed up for a one-hour consultation with me. It was at that time I learned about a project she’d been working on; photographing her aging parents, who she had moved into her home from hospice and rehabilitative care, during the early days of the pandemic.
As Becky described, “Daddy had been placed on hospice and mom was recovering from a recent stroke. When my siblings and I were denied access to them, we decided to bring them to my home in Azle, TX. While the world was isolated from so many of their loved ones, we shared daily laughter, difficulties, sadness and all that life and aging brings us. Almost immediately, I began photographing them—with their permission, capturing moments that have inspired me to treasure the relationships I hold most dear.”
At the time of our consultation, Becky’s father had already passed and her mother was seriously declining mentally and physically.
Envisioning an Exhibit
The following summer, Becky submitted an exhibition proposal to a gallery in Fort Worth, Texas. Even though she had exhibited work previously, she says she “could not visualize what this project should look like on the walls, and needed help.”
Becky wanted to promote the work for an exhibition and entrusted me with the process. She asked for help to curate the images “to a reasonable number.” As she says, “I had thousands.”
The Road to Exhibition
Through our work I had introduced Becky to mind mapping, a concept that she says, “let me unpack all the rabbit holes I carry in my head. The effect allowed me to let go of all the to-do’s and move in a direction to help me choose images. Through this process, we identified ‘the closet’ a literal and figurative place where I hold ‘the stuff’ from mom and dad that I can’t yet process. Syb encouraged me to dig deeply into this arena. I resisted.”
Now that the exhibition is complete, Becky would like to proceed with more consultation hours. “I can’t wait to continue my relationship with Syb, to further unpack that closet and bring new ideas to the surface. Listening to her podcast, Got Punctum?, the ideas for more work have started flowing.”
“At that first consult, Syb had opened doors into my soul; I just knew she would be a perfect partner. I trusted her to challenge and unpack me, my journey, and my files.”